mama_kestrel (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mama_kestrel) wrote2018-04-18 05:29 pm
mama_kestrel) wrote2018-04-18 05:29 pm
Entry tags:
The Next Thing
I sent a text message earlier, as I'm still bubbling from the weekend. It said simply "My girl's home. SQUEEE!" I got hearts back. Then the phone rang.
"Mama, are you sitting down?"
"Yeah, what's up sweetie?"
"Um, er, don't be upset..."
"When was the last time I got mad?"
"Um...when I didn't tell you B was hitting me?"
"Right. And then I was mad at him, not at you. So stop worrying. What is it?"
"Um...not your girl. Your boy. I'm trans."
"Oh, okay. So...my son's home! Squeeee!"
Silence. Then "That's it?"
"Not quite. Love you. Be patient while I retrain my speech patterns. Let me know when you want to do a legal name change."
"Love you, Mama." It was barely a whisper. I think he was crying.
I called his older sister. And indeed, I had guessed correctly. He'd told his birth mom, and it had not gone well. I know his birth mother is mentally ill (seriously, diagnosed), but that doesn't excuse the damage she has done and continues to do. We agreed sometime ago that it would be best if I never met the woman under uncontrolled circumstances, lest I tell her in no uncertain terms what I think. Words are my principal weapon, and I'm not sure I'd manage to nerf the blows.
Annnd...I've just gone back through and corrected about half my pronouns. So that's my next project. No big deal. It's in the Mama contract, right?
"Mama, are you sitting down?"
"Yeah, what's up sweetie?"
"Um, er, don't be upset..."
"When was the last time I got mad?"
"Um...when I didn't tell you B was hitting me?"
"Right. And then I was mad at him, not at you. So stop worrying. What is it?"
"Um...not your girl. Your boy. I'm trans."
"Oh, okay. So...my son's home! Squeeee!"
Silence. Then "That's it?"
"Not quite. Love you. Be patient while I retrain my speech patterns. Let me know when you want to do a legal name change."
"Love you, Mama." It was barely a whisper. I think he was crying.
I called his older sister. And indeed, I had guessed correctly. He'd told his birth mom, and it had not gone well. I know his birth mother is mentally ill (seriously, diagnosed), but that doesn't excuse the damage she has done and continues to do. We agreed sometime ago that it would be best if I never met the woman under uncontrolled circumstances, lest I tell her in no uncertain terms what I think. Words are my principal weapon, and I'm not sure I'd manage to nerf the blows.
Annnd...I've just gone back through and corrected about half my pronouns. So that's my next project. No big deal. It's in the Mama contract, right?
Re: Mazel Tov!
Changing gender on legal documents, at least in Indiana, requires first jumping through a great many medical hoops for documentation. He hasn't decided if he's going to do that yet. If he so chooses down the line, then we'll take care of the paperwork then - but the name change needs to happen, and sooner rather than later.
Re: Mazel Tov!
Re: Mazel Tov!
Re: Mazel Tov!
He's a firechild, no matter what his name is at the moment.
You've got great kids, you know that?
Re: Mazel Tov!
*Grin* I sure do! And I'm so honored that I'm still their Mama by their choice. My only official, legal child is 20; the youngest of my fosterlings is 30, the eldest 42. And every one of them is amazing.
I'm really lucky.